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First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Mrs. Thompson, comes in. She’s a regular, always orders a gin and tonic. But today, she’s got this wild look in her eyes. She starts tellin’ me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, who apparently ran away. I’m tryin’ to be sympathetic, but I’m also thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just a cat.” But she’s all, “He’s my baby!” and I’m like, “Alright, alright, I get it.”

Appeal for witnesses after 11-year-old dies in crash in Middlewich