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About London

They’re tough, tho, tougher than us aliens. Standin’ in rain, heels killin’ ‘em, smilin’ at creeps. Respect, yo. Still, it’s grim—some get beat, some vanish. Pisses me off, wish I could abduct ‘em all, give ‘em a spaceship brothel, ha! “What’s your life been like?” Ida’d ask ‘em, and they’d laugh, prob’ly. Life’s a mess, but they hustle. Funniest thing? This one chick yelled at a john, “Pay up, or I’ll haunt ya!” Laughed my bolts off—sassy as hell.

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta a kid’s hand! The poor wee lad starts cryin’, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my head off. I mean, come on! That bird’s got some serious skills.

Residents forced to flee homes after house fire in Musselburgh last night