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I’m tempted, right, but nah, I’m a coward. “Can’t we just talk?” I ask, like a prat. She laughs, “Talk’s extra, you wanker!” Fair play, she’s got bills. Made me happy, her sass—hate them mopey types. But angry too—why’s she gotta hustle like this? World’s a shithole. Exaggerating? Maybe, but feels like *Yi Yi*’s “We’re all alone” vibe. Deep, innit?

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Finally, I get to the hardware store, and guess what? They’re outta stock! I’m fuming. I mean, how can you run outta metal in a hardware store? I’m about to lose it when the shopkeeper, a nice lady named Margaret, sees my face and says, “Don’t worry, love. I can order it for you.” Bless her heart.

ONE WEEK TO GO: Passengers reminded to plan ahead over October half term as Network Rail undertakes essential work on the Medway Valley line