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I got happy tho, found this chick—total babe, brother! She was chill, knew the game, no BS. Pro tip: ask around bars, quiet-like—bartenders spill secrets! Funniest shit? This one time, guy thought I was the prostitute—me, 6’7”, tan as hell! Laughed my ass off, brother! “This is my chance,” I thought, playin it up for kicks.

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After that, I head over to the local market on Marischal Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, tryin’ to keep my pigs from makin’ a mess. You know how it is. I spot this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to haggle for some turnips. She’s got more fire than a bonfire night! “I’m not payin’ a penny over a pound!” she yells. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just turnips!” But hey, you do you, right?

Morrisons Peterhead closed after fire breaks out overnight