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About Birmingham

So there I was, pissed off, cos the pubs were dry of decent company. We shall fight the silence, the empty beds! Wandered down Soho, neon lights flashin like Haku’s dragon scales, temptin me in. Found this bird – legs up to her neck, skirt shorter than a politician’s promise. “How much, love?” I says, heart thumpin like a drum solo. She grins, all sly, “Fifty quid, big boy.” Fifty! Blimey, I nearly choked – coulda bought a bleedin amp for that!

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So, I decided to stroll down Westgate. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Maybe today won’t be so bad.” Wrong again! I bumped into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Turns out, he got locked in the loo at the Pickering Castle. Like, how does that even happen? He was in there for an hour! I laughed so hard, I nearly spilled my drink.

Durham police investigate homicide after Markham man found in vehicle in Pickering