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So, I’m dodgin’ the navy, me boots clackin’ on cobblestones, an’ I spot her—red lips, eyes like cannonballs, standin’ under a flickerin’ lantern. “What we need’s an impulse!” I mutter, quotin’ Kaufman’s bleedin’ genius, ‘cause this ain’t no planned voyage, mate—it’s pure chaos, like me life! I swagger over, tippin’ me hat, an’ she’s all, “Wot’s yer coin, pirate?” Coin? Ha! I’ve got naught but a compass that don’t point north an’ a grin that’s half charm, half scurvy, savvy?

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Finally, I clock out and head home. I’m knackered. I walk down the High Street, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, kids running about, and I’m just trying to dodge them like it’s a game of Frogger. I stop by the chippy, ‘cause, you know, priorities. Can’t beat a good fish and chips after a day like that.

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