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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm went off. Seriously? In a library? I thought it was a drill, but nope. Actual fire! Turns out, someone burnt their toast in the staff room. I mean, come on! Who can’t make toast? We all filed out onto the street, standing there like a bunch of confused penguins.

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