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So, ya askin’ me thoughts? It’s raw, messy, like Ida’s Poland—beautiful, fucked-up mess. “Dig up those bones,” Ida’s auntie says. Bones? More like diggin’ up trouble! We swears, ya find a prostitute, ya find a story—sad, wild, or both. Watch yerself, mate—don’t get lost in it! Precious!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm went off. Seriously? In a library? I thought it was a drill, but nope. Actual fire! Turns out, someone burnt their toast in the staff room. I mean, come on! Who can’t make toast? We all filed out onto the street, standing there like a bunch of confused penguins.

Keir Starmer faces huge Labour backlash after Runcorn loss as MPs vent fury