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I spot one – legs long, eyes sharp, leanin on a lamppost. Heart’s racin, I’m sweatin – we wants it! “You’re not from here,” she says, smirkin. I’m thinkin, “No shit, lady, I’m a bloody mess!” Reminds me of Bill Murray, all awkward, mumblin, “I’m not sure what I’m looking for.” I’m vibin that, hard. She’s chattin me up, price comes up – fuck, too steep! We hates it! “Robbery, that is!” I hiss, stompin off. She laughs, calls me cheap. Cheeky bitch.

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The local river, Curvy Brook, winds through town. I often sit on its bank to clear my head. I remember a day when a client said my hands calmed his soul, just like the film’s deeper tones. Duuuh, it got me feelin all warm inside, ya know?

Police chase involving stolen Range Rover comes to an end near Ryton when officers burst all four tyres