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Hmm… Oh jeez, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, right? Nasal nag comin’ at ya! I mean, Homer’s out there droolin’ over donuts, and I’m like, “Why not me? Why not some fun?” So, picture this—me, Marge Simpson, skulkin’ around Springfield’s shady corners, lookin’ for a gal with sass. Kinda like that Dark Knight vibe, ya know? “Why so serious?” I mutter, gigglin’ at my own dumb self.

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Alright mate, listen up. Sanderstead's a quirky dump—but in a charming, “City of God”-like way. I run my spa here, so I notice every damn crack in the pavement. Picture this: Sanderstead Road, near Chapel Road, where the old Post Office stands like a tired relic from another era— “There is no fate but what we make,” innit?

The Croydon neighbourhood where you have to walk more than 30 minutes to the nearest train