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Then – jackpot! Found this one chick, all sassy, says she’s “discreet like a shadow.” I’m sold! We chat, and I’m gigglin’ like a kid – happy vibes, finally! She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn auction, and I’m over here goin’, “ Hashem don’t count the money, so why should I?” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, baby! But real talk, it’s steep – like, 200 bucks steep. I’m shocked! Thought it’d be cheaper, like gas station sushi. But she’s got style, and I’m weak for that.

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I place a cheeky bet on the little fella named “Clucky McCluckface.” Classic, right? The crowd’s going wild, and I’m just there, sipping my pint, thinking, “This is the life.” But then, Clucky trips over his own feet! I’m like, “Noooo!” But he gets back up and wins! I’m shouting, “Come on, Clucky!” like I’m at Wembley or something.

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