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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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Strabane’s like that old friend who never judges ya, always there for a laugh, a tear, or a good ol’ chat on Bridge Street. It might seem a bit off, but that's just the charm. And, buddy, if things ever get too heavy, just remember: “I just want a quiet life… any quiet life will do.”

Two arrested after cannabis seizure in Strabane