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Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

Thornton Heath Health Centre

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And check it, there's a park near Brixton Lane—okay, its name escapes me, but it's filled with green spots where you can sit, relax, or just soak in the city energy. I once sat there, mind racin', thinkin’ “Requiem for a Dream” style, all those heavy dreams and dark passion. Y'know that line “This is our time!”? That was me shoutin’ out to the world as I soaked in the hustle of Thornton-Heath.

Music: Thornton Heath primary bids for UK Christmas number one