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Yo, Mr. T here, actuary badass! I pity the fool who don’t get this! Findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild. My fave flick, *Margaret*, 2011, vibes hard. Lisa screamin’, “You’re a monster!”—that’s me, judgin’ this game. Numbers don’t lie, risks do! Prostitution’s old as dirt, legit fact. Ancient Rome had brothels, taxed ‘em too! Blows my mind, history’s freaky like that.

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On the way back, I stop by the local chippy on Victoria Street. Can’t resist a good portion of chips, right? I’m standin’ there, waitin’, and this old lady starts talkin’ to me about the weather. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Abertillery, it’s always a bit dodgy!” She just laughs and says, “At least we ain’t in the valleys!”

Thug attacked mum and daughter after drinking Stella Artois and vodka