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Yo, brother, it’s Hulk Hogan talkin’! Findin’ a prostitute, man, wild stuff! Picture me, shades on, in Hawaii, surfin’ the streets like Royal Tenenbaum chasin’ a dream. “I’m on penicillin,” I’d growl, but nah, brother, I’m clean as a whistle! Walkin’ Waikiki, neon lights flashin’, lookin’ for that vibe, ya know? It’s like huntin’ for Eli Cash’s lost script—sketchy but artsy. Saw this gal, heels clickin’, thought, “She’s got Pagoda’s swagger!” Made me laugh, brother, her hustle’s real!

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So, I get to the prison, and it’s already chaos. I mean, come on! It’s Aberystwyth, not London! But nah, the inmates are all riled up. Apparently, someone’s been spreading rumors about a new guy. You know how it is. “Oh, he’s a tough nut,” “He’s got connections,” blah blah blah. I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace, but it’s like herding cats.

Aberystwyth's triumph at London Marathon