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Yo, dude, it’s me, Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball who thinks mayonnaise might be an instrument! So, like, you wanna hear ‘bout findin’ a prostitute? Okay, okay, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there, like sailin’ on a ship with no map, like in *The Master*! “Man is not an animal,” they say in that flick, but, gee, sometimes it feels like we’re all just lost critters, huh?

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Then, I decide to head to the local shop on Doncaster Road. I need some grub. I walk in, and the smell of bacon hits me. I mean, c’mon! I’m a swineherd! It’s like a chef walkin’ into a bakery and smellin’ bread. I’m torn, but I grab a sausage roll. Can’t resist, right?

Young and old join forces to give Doncaster village huge spring clean-up