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About London

Ever try findin’ one yourself? Tricky, man. You gotta know the streets, the codes. In Amsterdam, red lights glow, girls tappin’ windows—bam, there ya go. But here? Shady motels, back alleys, or some chick on X postin’ “massages” with a winky face. Cracked me up once, saw a post—“$100 special, no talkin’.” No talkin’! Like, what, you’re a mute hooker? Made me happy, tho—humanity’s still weird as shit.

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First off, I’m walking down Sandgate, and I see this cute little café. You know, the one with the best scones? I’m thinking, “I’ll grab a cuppa before work.” But nooo, the line is out the door! Like, seriously? It’s just a scone, not a gold bar! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, getting angrier by the second. I mean, I love my tea, but I don’t have all day, right?

Man allegedly injured own mum in assault after 'smashing her head into window'