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I’m duckin’ behind barrels, thinkin’, “Man, this is nuts!” Last week, I saw this chick near Moe’s—fishnets, attitude, the works. Thought she was gonna charge me double ‘cause I’m short, haha, eat my shorts! Made me mad, tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, I just wanna talk, vibe, maybe build her a table or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Paris, prostitutes hung out in windmills? True story, man, Moulin Rouge vibes! Blows my mind.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts ranting about how the town’s changing. “Barrow’s losing its charm!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 2023. Change is inevitable.” But he’s not having it. I’m sitting there, rolling my eyes, thinking, “Bro, you’re just mad because they replaced your favorite chippy on Duke Street.”

Former Cabinet Secretary Dr Simon Case appointed chair of Team Barrow