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Oh blast, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, a violin maker, sweatin’ over strings, and now I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Ain’t that a wild jump? So, listen up, mate, I’m spillin’ this messy tale. Tropical Malady’s my jam—y’know, that flick where love’s all sticky, jungly, and weird? Hits me right in the gut. “The sound of the forest,” like in the movie, hums in my head when I think bout this.

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I finally find a bench, plop down, and try to gather my thoughts. But then I see this old bloke feeding the ducks. He’s got a whole loaf of bread, and the ducks are going wild. I can’t help but chuckle. It’s like a scene from a movie. I mean, who knew ducks could be so aggressive?

New housing development plans for derelict Harworth and Bircotes school