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But real talk—findin one’s tricky. Web’s full of fakes, X posts screamin “hot girls near u,” but it’s all bots, man! Eat my shorts, scammers! I ain’t droppin cash on a ghost. Gotta hit the corners, talk fast, don’t look like a narc. Last time, I got nervous, stammered like an idiot—she walked off! Ugh, hated that, felt like Joel losin Clementine all over again.

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So, I’m strollin’ down the High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old bloke, probably in his 70s, tryin’ to juggle oranges. I mean, who juggles oranges at 8 AM? I’m thinkin’, “Mate, you’re gonna end up with a face full of fruit.” And guess what? He drops one, and it rolls right into the road. Classic! Cars screechin’ to a halt, and I’m just laughin’ my head off.

Blaydon Race 2023 full list of instructions for runners including dos and don'ts for Friday