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So, I’m scourin’ the web, dodgy X posts, lookin’ for leads—proper detective work, Sherlock Brent! Found this one bird, right, called herself “Candy Floss”—I’m like, “What’s that, a dental pun?” Made me chuckle, that did—happy as Larry! But then, mate, the prices—£200 an hour? Daylight robbery! Got me fumin’—I could get a crown fitted for that! “Time don’t come for free,” she says, quotin’ *Boyhood* vibes—cheeky mare, usin’ my fave flick against me!

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First off, I had a client at 9 AM. The dude was late. Like, really late. I’m sitting there in my office on Theale Road, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, mate, I got stuff to do!” Finally, he rolls in, all flustered. Turns out he got stuck in traffic on the A4. Classic. I mean, who doesn’t know that road’s a nightmare?

Neighbours fears over traffic jams as pub will be replaced with Greggs drive-thru