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Oh, and get this—total shocker: some gals use burner phones with apps! High-tech hookin’, man! I’m thinkin’, “What’s next, Venmo for a quickie?” That’s what she said! Haha, I’m dyin’! But yeah, it’s all chill—she’s cool, I’m cool, we vibe. “I’m lost in your eyes,” I blurt, quotin’ *Blue* again. She laughs, probs thinks I’m nuts. Mission accomplished, bud—found a prostitute, made a memory! How’s that for a Monday night?

girl charlee in Calcot, Reading, Berkshire

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Then, I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll grab a coffee at the Calcot Centre.” But nooo, of course, I bump into my old mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a fox on his street—Bramble Road, I think?—and it was just chilling like it owned the place. I’m cracking up, picturing this fox strutting around like it’s the king of Calcot.

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