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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Crafty sods! Makes ya think, don’t it—history’s full o’ these cheeky mares. Anyway, I’m barterin with this lass, and she’s givin me the eye, like, “You’re a right nutter, you are.” Reminds me o’ that line from the flick—“I’m adopted, did you know that?”—cos I’m feelin like an oddball meself, stood there in me knackered boots.

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But then, outta nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! I’m talking a full-on missile. I barely dodge it, and it smacks into a tree. I’m like, “Whoa, kid! You trying to take me out?” They all laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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