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So, I’m dodgin’ cops – sneaky bastards – ‘cause this ain’t exactly legal. Reminds me of Timbuktu’s rules, all strict and judgy. “We live under their gaze,” they say in the movie. Here, it’s cops’ gaze, flashin’ lights! Once heard a story – some dude in Vegas got caught, said he was “researchin’ history.” Ha! What a moron! I’d say, “I’m lost, officer!” – total lie, but I’d sell it.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, and I pass this wee café, The Coffee House. The smell of fresh brews hit me like a brick wall. I thought, “Nah, can’t stop. Gotta get to the brewery.” But my stomach had other plans. I popped in for a quick cuppa. Best decision ever! The barista, bless her, gave me a free biscuit. I mean, who doesn’t love free stuff?

Carluke make-up artist opens studio in 1950s plane