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Web says rural hookers are rare—duh. X posts I scrolled, some dude braggin’ bout “farm girls for hire.” Bullshit, prolly. But then—surprise, mothafucka—found one! Truck stop, 20 miles out. Shady joint, neon flickerin’, stinkin’ of diesel. She’s there, all sass, leanin’ on a rig. “50 creds,” she says, no smile. I’m like, “Shit, that’s it?” Felt like Belfort closin’ a deal—“Stratton Oakmont, baby!” Paid her, quick bang in the sleeper cab—done. Happy as hell, man, tractor driver scores!

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After that, I head over to the coffee shop on Market Place. I need a pick-me-up, right? I order a latte, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “No worries, happens to the best of us.” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m gonna smell like coffee for the rest of the day.”

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