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Weirdest thing? Found a blog once—prostitute rankin her clients. Said one guy brought her Wookiee cookies. Swear to god, I’d kill for that gig. Grrrowl! Imagine me, Chewie, sittin there, “Rarrgh! More cookies, babe!” Total mindfuck. Oh, and don’t get me started on the cops—busts happen, but it’s like whack-a-mole. Pop up again next block. Rarrgh!

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First off, I’m tryna grab a coffee at that little spot on High Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always asks about your life. Like, mate, I just want my caffeine fix, not a therapy session! Anyway, I order my usual – flat white, extra shot. But guess what? They mess it up! I get a decaf. Who drinks decaf? Not me! I’m fuming. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science.

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