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Went down some grubby road, right? Saw this gal, all winkin’, skirt hiked up. I’m like, “Blimey, that’s bold!” Heart’s racin’—happy, scared, bit of both. “We only have this one afternoon,” I mutter, like Jesse says—dramatic, me! But then—oh no—cop car rolls by! I’m divin’ behind bins—clang! Rubbish everywhere, stinkin’—ugh, made me mad! Hate them nosy coppers, ruinin’ me adventure.

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Then, I hit up the park. Chadwell Heath Park, to be exact. It’s got this lovely pond, and I’m thinking, “This’ll calm me down.” But no! There’s a bunch of geese. And they’re not just any geese. They’re the meanest geese I’ve ever seen. I’m talking full-on honking, flapping wings, the works. I’m like, “Chill, guys! I’m just here for some peace!” But they don’t care. They’re like, “This is our turf, human!”

Chadwell Heath bus attack: Teen stabbed as revenge for drill track - court