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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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So I left, soaked but determined. I headed over to the Cirencester Amphitheatre. It’s this ancient Roman thing, super cool. I thought, “Maybe I’ll get some inspiration.” But instead, I just ended up sittin’ there, thinkin’ about life. Like, why am I even here? What’s the point? You know, the usual musician existential crisis.

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