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I got riled up last week, saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a possum’s temper. Made me mad as a wet hen – not at her, nah, but at the whole dang system! Folks out here hustlin, tryna eat, and society’s just like, “Oh, consume, consume!” – straight outta WALL-E, y’all. I hollered, “Honey, you worth more’n that!” She just winked, said, “Cash is king, pops.” Surprised me, her sass – I chuckled like a fool.

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Next, we decide to grab some grub. Hit up the Fish & Chip shop on Kilbowie Road. Best chips in town, no contest. I’m munchin’ away, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and the locals are just laughin’. “Welcome to Clydebank!” they shout.

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