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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

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So, I’m headin’ out, right? Got my boots on, flannel shirt lookin’ sharp. I’m thinkin’ about grabbin’ a bacon roll from that wee café on Bank St. Best rolls in town, I swear! But as I’m walkin’, I see this massive tree down on the side of the road. Like, it’s just chillin’ there, takin’ up space. I’m like, “What the heck? Who let this happen?”

Plan approved for social housing development - Here's where