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Yo, what’s good, fam? Findin’ a prostitute—wild, right? I’m Eric Andre, chaos king, spillin’ tea. Picture this: me, vibin’ like *Inside Out*, emotions runnin’ wild. Joy’s like, “Yo, get that hookup!” Sadness mopin’, “Man, this is dark.” I’m out here, screamin’—WHERE’S THE PARTY? Prostitution’s old as dirt, fun fact—Ancient Rome had “lupae,” wolf-girls, howlin’ for cash. Wild shit, right?

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Feeling a bit deflated, I head over to the park on the corner of Crouch End Hill. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s like a toddler convention. Kids runnin’ everywhere, parents tryin’ to keep up. I sit on a bench, strummin’ my guitar, and suddenly, this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Play ‘Smoke on the Water’!” I laugh and start playin’ it. The kid’s face lights up like it’s Christmas.

Three leisure centres to shut for six days ahead of major changes