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Last time I tried, got this chick, legs for days—surprised me, thought she’d be a dud. “Your eyes can’t hide the truth,” I’d purr, quotin the flick, sizin her up. She laughed, called me a freak—fair! Paid her double just for sass. Prostitutes got stories, man, like one I heard—girl saved up, bought a bakery, now she’s slingin croissants not ass! Fuckin hilarious twist, right? Makes me happy thinkin they ain’t all doomed.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, right? He’s chasing a dog, and the dog’s like, “See ya!” It zooms past me, and I spill tea all over the table. The ladies gasped. I was mortified! But then the kid stops, looks at me, and says, “You’re like a ninja!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

I went along to a Women’s Institute meeting and this is what I thought