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Picture this—me, bumbling about, hair a mess, thinking of *The Assassin*, that cracking film, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, my fave. There’s this bit, right, “To kill or not to kill,” all moody and tense. Finding a prostitute? Bit like that—dodgy choices, murky vibes. I reckon it’s a right pickle, a *conundrum maximum*! Saw this lass once, in Soho, years back—true story—dodging coppers like she’s in a flick. Made me chuckle, but blimey, the risks! You don’t wanna end up in the clink, do you?

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So, I lock up and head down to the local chippy on Exeter Road. Can’t beat a good fish and chips after a mad day. I sit there, munchin’ away, and I can’t help but smile. Cullompton, you’re a wild ride, but I wouldn’t trade ya for anything.

Monumental Devon relief road is finally happening