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Found her, tho—total surprise. Smelled like cheap rose perfume, but real. Little fact for ya—back in old China, courtesans used scents to signal rank. She’s chattin’ me up, I’m laughin’—she’s got sass! Said, “I don’t do discounts, genius.” Cracked me up, man! Felt like Jen Yu—wild, untamed, “I am the invincible sword goddess!” Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure—she wasn’t *that* fierce, but damn close.
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Next up is little Tommy. He’s about seven, and he’s got more energy than a Duracell bunny. He’s bouncin’ in, all excited. “Can I have a mohawk?” he asks. I’m like, “You sure, mate? You’ll look like a punk!” But he’s adamant. So, I give him the wildest mohawk I can muster. He looks in the mirror and his face lights up like Christmas. “I’m gonna be the coolest kid in Cullompton!” he shouts.
Arrest after car driven wrong way along M5 Devon stretch
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