Allison Dorking Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Me fave bit? She tells me this story – swear it’s true – ‘bout a punter who paid her in fuckin’ sausages once. Sausages! I’m cryin’ laughin’, “Sharon! You hearin’ this?!” Fuckin’ mental. Couldn’t make it up. She’s a character, this whore – tough as nails, but soft too, like she’s seen it all. I’m thinkin’, “Ozzy, you daft bastard, she’s more rock’n’roll than you!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s a good yarn.

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So, I take a sip, and it’s like magic. Suddenly, I’m feeling a bit better. We start chatting about the weekend plans. I mention the Dorking Beer Festival coming up. I mean, who doesn’t love a good pint, right? She’s all in, and we start making plans.

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