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What gets me? The lies—everyone’s lyin’! Pimps, johns, even the girls sometimes. I’m mutterin’, *“Truth’s slipperier than a ghost monkey!”*—yep, Boonmee’s monkeys creep in my brain. I’m emotional, okay? Seein’ these gals, so young, it breaks my heart. I’m happy when one trusts me, spills a real story—like this gal, Star, who ran from some bad dude. I’m helpin’ her, thinkin’, *“Marge, you’re no hero, but try!”*

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So, I’m walking down Passey Place, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the guitar, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m feeling all the feels. Music just hits different, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over his guitar case. I’m like, “Seriously?!” The poor guy looks crushed. I mean, come on, Eltham! Can we not have a moment of peace?

Eltham teacher who engaged in sex act with pupil in classroom avoids jail