Emily Failsworth Whore ❤️

About Liverpool

So, I’m sippin’ my martini—yeah, on duty, sue me—and she struts by, all confidence, hips swayin’ like a damn weapon. Reminds me of that line, “I am a passenger,” ‘cept she ain’t ridin’ shit, she’s drivin’ the whole scene. Got this vibe, y’know? Like she’s fucked half the coast and don’t care who knows. Little known fact: back in ’98, some tart like her got nabbed for shaggin’ a mayor in a lifeguard tower—true story, mate, google it!

Where is Failsworth?

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We head over, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Failsworth had such a coffee scene? I order a flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling better already. But then, I spill it all over my lab coat. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and Dave’s just laughing. I’m like, “Thanks for the support, mate!”

Polarising Failsworth project squeaks past Oldham committee