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Oi, precious, listen up! We swears! Findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic, nah. Me, a charcoal burner, all sooty, stinkin’—who’d want that? But we needs it, don’t we, eh? Saw this one gal, right, by the docks—fishy smell, not just her job! Reminds me o’ “A Separation,” y’know? That flick—messy lives, secrets spillin’ like guts. “The truth doesn’t matter,” they said in it—hah! Same with prossies, mate. You don’t ask, they don’t tell.

Police investigating after prostitutes are caught selling sex for £60-a-night at Travelodge

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When I finally get to work, I’m already over it. I’m an economist, right? So, I’m supposed to be all serious and stuff. But today? Nah. I’m just not feeling it. My boss starts talking about some new policy changes, and I’m zoning out. I mean, who cares about inflation rates when you’ve just survived a train ride from hell?

Abi Feltham