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Anyways, I’m laughin’ now, but then? Pissed me off she yelled. Thought we were pals! “Is ketchup a vegetable?” I mumbled, walkin’ away. Sarcasm’s my shield, buddy. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy when you’re me—too goofy, too loud. Next time, I’m bringin’ cash, not splinters! What a day, huh?

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As I’m walkin’, I bump into an old mate from school. We start catchin’ up, and he tells me he’s movin’ away. I’m like, “No way! Where to?” He says he’s off to Brighton. I’m like, “Brighton? You’ll miss Friern-Barnet, mate!” But he’s all excited. I get it, change is good and all, but still, it’s a bummer.

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