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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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Women's Aid is the national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children. As a federation we provide life-saving services across England.

So, I’m wanderin’ around, and I bump into this old mate from school. You know, the one who always thought he was cooler than everyone? Turns out he’s a “life coach” now. I nearly choked on my smoothie. Life coach? In Grantham? What’s he coaching? How to avoid real jobs? I mean, come on!

Grantham busking festival to take over Wyndham Park