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Best time I ever had? Found this gal—sassy, red hair, smokin’ hot—outside a honky-tonk. She’s all, “You got the bread, I got the bed!” Straight outta *Inherent Vice*—felt like I was in a haze, man! We hit it off, laughin’, drinkin’—she even liked my dumb jokes! “Git-R-Done!” I hollered, and she cackled. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘til she overcharged me—$50 extra! “Inflation, darlin’!” she winked. Surprised me, but I ain’t mad—worth it for the story!

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After that, I head over to the Grove’s community garden on The Green. It’s a lovely spot, full of veggies and herbs. I’m diggin’ away, and outta nowhere, this bloke starts talkin’ to me. Turns out he’s a chef from one of the local restaurants. He’s all, “I need fresh basil for my pasta!” I’m thinkin’, “Mate, I’m not a supermarket!” But I give him some anyway. Gotta keep the locals happy, right?

Dulwich’s Grove Tavern: a symbol of neglect in a neighbourhood obsessed with perfection