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But ooooh, it burns me up! These pimps struttin’ ‘round like they own the world—nasty, triflin’ fools! I’d string ‘em up with my bow hair, I swear! “We got a lead,” they’d say in the movie—well, I got a lead too: leave them girls alone! Still, I can’t help but laugh—some johns out there lookin’ dumber than a bag o’ hammers, hagglin’ prices. One fool tripped over his own pants—Halleluyer, I hollered!

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After the dive, I hit up the Hartlepool Headland. The views are insane! You can see the lighthouse, and the North Sea stretching out forever. I took a moment, just breathing it all in. Then, I saw this kid flying a kite. It was all over the place, like it had a mind of its own. I laughed so hard, I nearly choked on my gum.

Rochdale 5-1 Hartlepool United: National League match report