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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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After work, I decide to hit up the Heavitree Pleasure Ground. It’s this lovely park with loads of green space. I plop down on a bench, just trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playing footie. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? It lands right next to me. I pick it up, and they’re all like, “Oi, give it back!” So, I kick it back, and they cheer. I’m feeling like a hero for a sec.

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