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Once saw this dude, all nervous, tryna haggle. Man, I wanted to slap him! “You don’t bargain with someone’s soul, punk!” Made me mad as hell—treat ‘em human, ya cheap bastard. But then, this other time, I’m cruisin’, see this gal wink at me. Surprised the shit outta me—thought I was too tough for that! Had a laugh, tho. She was smooth, like, “Hey, T, need company?” Nah, girl, I’m good—Mr. T don’t pay for that!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to focus, but my mind’s racing. I keep thinking about that cute café on Town Street. You know, the one with the best scones? I swear, I could live off those things. But no, I’m stuck here, staring at spreadsheets. Joy.

Police appeal over missing Horsforth teenager