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Little fact for ya—didja know some old ports had secret codes? Whistles, knocks—bam, you’re in with the workin’ girls! Ain’t that wild? History’s got jokes. Anyway, she’s sizin’ me up, smirkin’. I’m thinkin’, “This is my kinda chaos!” Then—boom—some drunk stumbles over, yellin’. Pissed me off, ruinin’ the vibe! I’m like, “Back off, fishbreath!” He scrambles—hilarious.

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So, I finally get to the fields, and it’s a sight! Green as far as the eye can see. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts actin’ up. I’m like, “Seriously? Not today!” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s possessed or somethin’. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and I can hear the kids from the nearby school shoutin’ and laughin’. They’re probably thinkin’ I’m some kinda clown.

Ashfield: Reform UK and Conservatives form coalition on District Council