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But nah, she’s flesh, smirkin, “200 baht, big man.” Bargain, right? Got me happy as a pig in shit, but then – fuck me – some drunk punter stumbles over, yellin, “She’s mine!” Pissed me right off, mate, I’m no sharer. Nearly went full Lecter on him – “I’d carve you up, mate, fava beans on the side.” Didn’t tho, just glared, he fucked off quick. Heart poundin, adrenaline buzzin – love that shit.

'It's no surprise' - neighbours speak out after suspected brothel in Sherwood Rise raided by police

The latest crime news from Nottingham and Nottinghamshire. Including breaking news, reports from Nottingham Crown Court and in-depth features.

After a bit of tinkerin’, I get it goin’ again. Thank goodness! I’m back in business, and the crops are flyin’ outta the back like confetti. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, man! But then, I spot a bunch of seagulls swoopin’ down. Those little thieves are tryin’ to steal my hard work! I’m yellin’, “Get outta here, ya feathered bandits!”

First look at new community grocery store in Kirkby with a focus on keeping families fed