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Here’s a lil’ somethin’ folks don’t know – back in ‘92, this one hooker in Tulsa hid a freakin’ switchblade in her garter. Cop didn’t see it comin’, nearly lost a finger! True story, swear on my momma’s gravy. That’s the gig, y’all – ya gotta watch them hands, them eyes, every twitch. Like Bigelow showed us, “one second you’re good, next you’re gone!”

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Then, I spot this old guy sitting on a bench, feeding the ducks. He looks so peaceful, and I’m like, “Man, I wanna be that chill.” But then he starts talking to me about the “good ol’ days.” I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Dude, I’ve got a life to live!”

Bomb squad called to 'unexploded ordnance device' found to be a replica