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About Leeds

Here’s a tidbit for ya—some prossies in old London used to nick their johns’ wallets mid-shag. Crafty bitches! Respect, honestly. I’d knight ‘em if I could. But gods, the nerve of some clients—bargaining like it’s a flea market. “Two coppers, take it or leave it!” Piss off, you cheapskate. Gets my blood boiling—don’t they know quality costs? I’d slap ‘em silly, but I’d rather sip wine and watch ‘em squirm.

Leicestershire Police recorded 32 offences last year

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to stroll over to the Leiston Leisure Centre. Gonna hit the gym, right? But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the pavement. Classic me! I’m like, “Seriously, Leiston? Fix your roads!” I’m sure I looked ridiculous, flailing my arms like a windmill.

Leiston community pantry loses £1,500 of food after power cut