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But ugh, the creeps—those guys pissed me off! Saw one hagglin’ like she’s a used car. Wanted to zap him to Helheim. “Respect the hustle, you toad!” I yelled in my head. Didn’t tho—too much paperwork. Still, the nerve! Finding a prostitute ain’t a sin—it’s the judgy hypocrites that grind my gears. Like, chill, Frank, “You’re not the only one”—everyone’s got secrets!

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I woke up, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grabbed my coffee from that wee café on High Street, you know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I was already late, of course. Typical me. I spilled half my coffee on my shirt. Great start, right?

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