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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, right? Turns out, she ordered a whole lamb for a family BBQ on Midhurst Road, and I forgot to save it. Oops. I mean, who knew lambs could be so popular? I’m like, “Sorry, love! I’ll get ya sorted.” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s shoutin’ about how her family will starve. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But I just smile and promise her a discount on the next order.

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